Men couldn’t stand looking at her, even for a small moment. They run away when she was sticking out her bones out of her ribcage in the ecstasy. They run away when she was exposing her dried nipples.
They run away when she was swinging on her two spindly legs with the huge smile of a porn star.
As Agata Siniarska awoke one morning, she found herself transformed into a disgusting insect. Lady Vanishes, this was her new name. This was her manifesto towards a new feminity!
I don’t have a body. The man is its owner and he is the one who can choose if it’s worth to look at. I can only choose underwear, smile and a porn website where I can put myself on the plate, ready to be consumed.
Knowing from experience that I have no power to fight against this position, as a woman who doesn’t agree on objectification from masculin gaze, I decided to be unsexy.
I want to be a woman that can still wear dresses, highheel shoes and make up ( there is no reason to resign form that ) but with the body totally transformed.
I will gain the new female body that is not fragmentarized, raped, validated, criticized, desired or not, chosen or not, in the line of competitions of other bodies.
I will be repulsive, I will be a virus.
I will not be living in the illusion that I can stand above mechanisms but I will stay inside, being unbearable component of the society, unstandable for every men.
They will feel pity, maybe sorry, but what for sure, they will not stand me naked.
I will have a body that has nothing to offer.
My choice is a political choice, a statement, ulimately connected with society. Transformation will be my everyday practice, practice of rejecting feminity being understood by men. If women can so easily be consumed, I can consume my body as well.
The new era is coming! Women, lets stand under the same flag!
Madonnas and Venuses will dissapear from the pictures.
The independence – for the revolution!
The revolution – for the liberation!
We won’t serve the pleasure!
We won’t be choosen by you!
We won’t be tasty!
We won’t be your temptation!
We won’t be yours!
WE WILL BE EVERYWHERE!
We will be close to you and out of your control!
We will be free from your gazes!
I will have long hair, nice smile, pretty face and I will be opening my legs widely everytime when you will be opening your favourite porn site. I will be there waiting for you, totally available and transformed. I will be there, your disgusting Eastern European beauty waiting in your favourite sexuall position.
You can smell my stinky dry vagina with suppressed menstruation while I will be screaming with my voiceless body from pleasure. I will be horny sticking my bones out of my skin and I will be satisfied seeing your giagantic penis.
If I stay alone, means that revolution needs next generation, the generation of our children I’m preparing now to a new world!
If I die - what is death if not a potentiality of life!
C’mon boy fuck me deeply! Fuck my disguisting body!
This is me, Lady Vanishes, total female autonomy!
The netting web has already started, and sooner or later it will catch you boy!
( check at http://cargocollective.com/thisladyvanishes )
LADY VANISHES
LADY VANISHES
With special thanks to Andrei Tarkovsky for permission to publish this letter, the last letter of Agata Siniarska as Agata Siniarska.
HOLA! Magazine 10th of March 2012